To be 22 years old, I consider myself relatively successful. Such success did not come overnight, however. I have come to you all today to share 10 pieces of advice that I consider to have gotten me far and that I continue to use in order to become a more successful woman.
1. Be wary of those people who will inevitably come around when they see that the fruits of your labor are ripe. There is absolutely nothing wrong with relishing in your accomplishments. Having worked so hard, you deserve some bragging rights. Be wary of those people, however, who only love and support you when you’re doing well. They are truly just around for appearances only and are not beneficial to your well-being. Shake off their dead weight.
2. Realize that you may lose friends. The good thing about this is that you’ll also gain more throughout your lifetime. Even if you’re very close to someone and they see you running towards your goals, it’s unfortunately not surprising to see that they may not be running beside you after long and cannot catch up. And I find that quite often, they don’t explicitly express that they’re feeling overshadowed by your recent accomplishments. Jealousy is an ugly trait, but still one we encounter. If your friend was truly your friend however, these feelings wouldn’t exist; nevertheless, they do. There are many people that I have had to leave behind in order to pursue my dreams–whether is was moving away physically or separating socially and emotionally. I find that the best way to combat this situation is to surround yourself with like-minded, goal-oriented, genuine friends from the beginning. At the end of the day, it is those people who will motivate you to do more and be more without any ulterior motive.
3. Display humility. Success doesn’t have to come with an ego. Successful people understand that while extraneous factors come into play, some failure can be chalked up to their own shortcomings. Never forget to hold yourself accountable for every aspect of your life. This is how you’ll remain focused and humble.
4. Don’t become complacent. Once you’ve tested your limits, you’ll soon realize that there are truly no limits. Stay stuck in one place, and you’ll find that others will pass you by. Always be working on your next step. That step doesn’t have to be taken next week, or next month, or next year, but work towards something greater. Successful people know that complacency is the root of educational and/or creative stagnation. Have the drive to be more, then make it happen. Too often do I encounter people who talk the talk without taking the next step. Not only does that look and sound unprofessional, but that also comes across as less than passionate about your craft. Where would we be today if there weren’t people crazy enough to keep asking themselves “why”?
5. Focus. This goes without having to say much. Stop worrying about what the person next to you is doing. Stop worrying about the man or woman who isn’t texting you back. Stop worrying about what someone might or might not be saying about you. These are all rather petty distractions that can easily cause someone to lose focus on what they’re trying to achieve. I have friends who are constantly caught up in everything but what they truly should be focusing on, and it’s an unfortunate sight to see. The unfocused person is a breeding ground for negative thoughts and unhappiness. This is not to say that it’s unfavorable to have a significant other or material things in your life. Those can be quite wonderful things. They simply become a problem when they’re distracting you from your goals.
6. Track and budget what is made and what is spent. The words ‘success’ and ‘money’ are often synonymous to the common person. Being a new registered nurse, I can confidently say that I make decent money. But, I make it a habit to save as much as I can while I am young and living relatively cheaply. Pay off your obligations first, set aside money to be saved, then keep the rest for yourself. So many people make the mistake of getting a check and spending all of it without keeping in mind the consequences of their actions. If necessary, consult with a financial advisor. In any case, know the amount of money that you’re making and how much you’re spending. Live within or below your means. Knowing where money is being spent and where money is coming in is empowering to the successful person.
7. Understand that failure happens. No one is perfect. There will be times in your life where nothing seems to go right. You may keep failing tests and don’t understand why your studying isn’t paying off. You may not get accepted into a program your first time around. You may not get chosen for a position you applied for. That’s okay. Disappointments are inevitable. It’s just important that you train your heart and mind to be resilient, and keep pushing. Everything doesn’t come so easily. If it has, it’s probably not making you any stronger of a person. Cry about it, learn from it, get back up, and finish the race.
8. Shut up and listen. If you think you’re an expert in a particular field, know that someone out there is better. That’s just the way it is. This concept goes back to being humble. Respect those who have come before you and have long done what you are now doing. People who are used to being in the spotlight are quick to shut out other people’s ideas and opinions. Successful people take into account the ideas and opinions of others in addition to their own. If you aren’t willing to listen to others, then you can only climb so high.
9. Engage in self-care. So there’s more to life than being in your workspace every second of every minute of every hour of every day. It’s important to spoil yourself too. Get dressed up and go out to that expensive restaurant. Take that trip that you’ve been saving up for. Also, it’s imperative that you not neglect your body. Exercise regularly. Drink lots of water. Make healthy food choices. Take care of your physical being. Your life should ultimately be a balance of work and reward. Too much of either can be a negative thing. Work hard, play hard. Glow up in every aspect of your life.
10. Have something or someone in your life that gives you peace. Though I am a Christian woman, I am not speaking solely about God or Jesus Christ here. Whomever your Higher Power, I wholeheartedly believe that having a spiritual heart will guide you in the right direction. There have been many days where I have felt confused and unsure of the direction my life was headed. Each and every one of us has a story, whether you’re not doing well in school, split from a significant other, grieving over the loss of a loved one, or what have you, all of those life-shattering events can shake your faith. However, I believe that it’s important to stay grounded in someone or something that you consider to be greater than yourself. And, too, there are many people out there who do not have a High Power, and to those people, their ultimate source of comfort is, or instance, their art or music. In any case, whenever we need a break from our lives, it’s imperative that we find that place of solace in order to collect ourselves once again and keep moving forward towards our goals and dreams. It’s never the external circumstances that bring sustainable success and happiness. Successful people constantly seek out joy in the simple, sometimes transcendental things.
Thank you all for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed today’s post. Stay tuned for more next week!